So I have a doctors appointment Tuesday and I hope that I get to find out how many babies or lack of babies I am having. That probably sounds weird to you. Some explanation? Well, after having fraternal twins once my chances of having twins again goes from 1 out of 90 to 1 out of 12. My odds are good that I'll have a single baby but the thought of twins does keep resurfacing and has made me lose a tiny bit of sleep at night. And as cool as two sets of twins may sound to everyone that gets to see pictures of them and dote over them and then send them home, another set of twins to me sounds very daunting.

I know that all mothers with new babies are sleep deprived and it is not a walk in the park, but I just think it would somehow be easier with one instead of two.Now just to clear things up, I am glad that I have Heber and Hannah and I love them and couldn't give either of them away.

I am sure God will always give me enough so that I will always turn for him for help. Just how much that is, time will tell. When it comes down to it, it is not about how much I can handle or think I can't handle, it is about something much bigger then me.



I wouldn't want to go back and have one born years later either, if I had the ability. I am glad they are twins because they make each other and us so happy. I am grateful to be able to have them in my life. And I don't mean to sound like I don't want to have a baby. This pregnancy was planned and the timing feels right.


I bet if I do end up having twins again I will change my attitude to fit the situation but the thought of another set of twins is wearying... and triplets, I don't even think I can go there, the thought will drive me insane.